Adlerian psychology can be referred to as individual psychology. Reason and emotion cannot be divided, the mind and body cannot be divided, the conscious and unconscious mind cannot be divided. Each individual is a unified whole. Although these are separate things, different, or exist separately, it is the whole that makes choices. To think you do something because of emotion is the life lie. This is holism: the individual cannot be broken into parts.

The {{c1::separation of tasks}} is a way to unravel the threads of the complex entanglement of one's interpersonal relationships and make life lighter.

Community feeling is the goal in Adlerian psychology and a key concept that has been debated many times. If other people are our comrades and we are surrounded by them, then we should find a place of refuge and a desire to contribute: community feeling. The issue is what does community consist of? A house, school, workplace, local society? Adler refers to community as all of humanity and also the entire axis of time from the past to the future including plants, animals, and inanimate objects. The community is not just a framework but is literally inclusive of literally everything. Adler admitted the community feeling is an unattainable ideal, but it is essential to understanding his ideas.

{{c1::Community feeling}} is the most important index for considering the happiness state of {{c2::interpersonal relationships}}. {{c1::Interpersonal relationships}} are considered the source of both unhappiness and happiness in Adlerian psychology. Community feeling is also referred to as social interest: interest in society.

From the point of view of sociology, the smallest unit in society is two people. Society and community emerge with two people.

Attachment to self = self-centered. People who are incapable of separating tasks and cannot deny the desire for recognition are self-centered. They are concerned solely with themselves because they want to be liked by others. It is not concern for others; it is attachment to self. People not thinking well of you is proof you are living in freedom. Being attached to the I because you are constantly worried about how others think of you is to be self-centered.

Each of us is a member of a community: where we belong. Feeling a place of refuge and a sense of belonging are basic human desires. They are part of the search for a place and relationships where one can feel it is okay to be there. The protagonist in one's life is the I. But the I does not rule the center of the world. It is only a member of the community and a part of the whole. You are not the world's protagonist.

People who hold the belief that they are the center of the world will lose their comrades before long. They see themselves as the protector of the world and every other person is there to serve them, but they do not live their life for that person and thus the person will be disappointed leading to disillusionment and then seeing them as enemies instead of comrades.

You are part of a community. Not the center of it.

In Adlerian psychology, in order to have the sense of belonging that it's okay to be here, we can attain this only be making an active commitment to the community of their own accord. One faces one's life tasks. Take steps forward on one's own without avoiding the tasks. One has to take their own steps forward with the tasks of interpersonal relationships. Ask: what can I give to this person. That is commitment to the community. By giving, one can find one's refuge. The sense of belonging comes from one's own efforts.

The scope of community is infinite. Each person belongs to a different community, but they also belong to the universe. You belong to a larger community that is larger than the one you can see. You are contributing in some way to that community. Think of how the entire world is connected when you do something so simple as buy something from the store.

All of us belong to multiple communities. The household, the workplace, the country. If you regard school as the absolute community, naturally you will run into adversity in that community: not keeping up with school work, getting bullied. It is possible that with regard to this community, you will not have the sense of belonging. When that happens, if you think of school as being everything, you will not have the sense of belonging. You will escape into a smaller community such as the home. But there is a more separate and larger community: there is a larger world that extends far beyond the school and every one of us is a member there. If there is no refuge in the school, you can find a different community outside of the school such as a different school. All the hardship you went through in school was a storm in a teacup. When you leave, you will be greeted with a gentle breeze. The decision to withdraw is not easy and cannot be taken lightly.

When you run into difficulties in interpersonal relationships or when you can no longer see a way out, first and foremost consider this principle: listen to the voice of the larger community. Follow the common sense of a larger community.

Carrying out the separation of tasks helps us to cooperate, act in harmony with each other, and create community feeling, by helping to form horizontal relationships.

Take the stance that in all forms of communication, one must not praise. Rebuking is not accepted either. One must not do either. The act of praise is like talking down to someone. In the act of praise, there is the aspect of it being the passing of judgement from a person of ability to a person of no ability. This unconsciously creates a hierarchical relationship. Praising is to manipulate someone with less ability than you. Rebuking also has the goal of manipulation. The intention of reward and punishment education is to manipulate children. Wanting praise or giving praise is proof of seeing the relationships as vertical. Refute all manner of vertical relationship and propose that they all be horizontal. This may be the fundamental principle of Adlerian psychology. Equal but not the same. Equal is to say horizontal.

The feeling of inferiority is a feeling that arises in vertical relationships. By building horizontal relationships, there is no room for the inferiority complex to emerge.

Offer assistance that does not turn into intervention. Assistance is not the same as intervention: it presupposes the separation of tasks and horizontal relationships. Help the person face the tasks on their own but do not force them. Assist the person to resolve their tasks by their own efforts. It is them who needs to face their tasks. Neither praise, nor rebuke. This is referred to as encouragement.

The first thing to do if you cannot face your tasks is to get courage.

Being praised leads people to believe that they have no ability. Giving praise is a judgement that is passed by a person with ability onto a person without ability. To choose praise as one's goal, you are choosing a way of living aligned with other people's systems of values. To assist others, do the separation of tasks, then build horizontal relationships, and then use the approach of encouragement.

The most important thing is to not judge other people.

"Thank you" is an expression of gratitude that shows a person they have made a contribution. It is different than praise.

When a person is able to feel that they have worth, they can have courage. If one is able to feel that one has worth, then they can have the courage to face their life tasks. How can one feel that they have worth? It is simple: it is when one is able to feel that they are beneficial to the community. When one can feel that they are of use to others. Community feeling and encouragement connects here.

Consider things at the level of being. People have use by being here. Be grateful for others at the level of being. Just by being alive, people support the psychological state of others and therefore are of use. Accept oneself on the level of being.

Do not compare someone to anyone else and be grateful that they exist as they are.

Someone has to start. Other people may not cooperate. Start with no regard to whether others are cooperative or not.

Without regard to other people cooperating, start. Have a true sense of worth and appreciate others for simply existing.

The first thing to do: build a horizontal relationship between yourself and one other person. The issue of building vertical vs horizontal relationships is an issue of lifestyle. You must choose one or the other. If you are building even one vertical relationship, you will soon be treating them all as vertical. Building even one horizontal relationship is a major transformation in lifestyle and all interpersonal relationships after may tend to become horizontal.

In a company structure, it is natural for there to be different levels of responsibility. Be equal in consciousness and assert that which needs to be asserted.

Suppose as a result of following a boss's instructions, it results in failure. To say that it is the boss's fault, it is a life lie. There is space to refuse and propose a different way of doing things.