Seeing others as comrades will change the way of looking at the world.

Adlerian psychology denies the need to seek recognition from others. One must not seek recognition.

Being recognized is something to be happy about but it is absolutely not necessary.

Reward and punishment education is part of the cause of why people want recognition. Adler was very critical of education using reward and punishment.

You are not living to satisfy other people's expectations. You are living only your own life. You are living it for yourself. We live thinking about ourselves.

Consider each task from the perspective of whose task it is. Do not intrude on other people's tasks. That is all there is to it, but you must separate tasks. Interpersonal relationship problems are caused by intruding on other's tasks.

There is a simple way: think who is going to receive the result by the choice that is made. A child who does not study has to deal with the result so studying is the child's task. The thing to do is just let the child know that their task is studying and to let them know that you can help if they request it. Do not meddle if they do not ask for help.

Forcing change while ignoring the person's intentions will only lead to a bad reaction. You are the only one who can change yourself.

Intervening in other people's tasks turns the life heavy and full of hardship. Learn the boundary of where here on, that is not my task, and discard other people's tasks. This is the first step to lightening the load and making life simpler.

It does not matter what you make your parents feel. All you can do is choose the best path that you believe in. What judgement people pass on that choice is their tasks. What people think of you is their task. Do not worry about what other people think of you: that would be worrying about other people's tasks.

If you are worried about what other people think of you, you have not done the {{c1::separation of tasks}}.

Remember it isn't your job at work to be liked by everyone. To think you cannot do your work because you have been shunned by your boss would be to fall for the life lie. That you think or claim you have an awful boss may be a teleological way to excuse yourself from doing work.

The unreasonable emotions of another person are their tasks.

One should ask: whose task is this? Then do the separation of tasks. Up to what point does one own's tasks go? Do not intervene in other people's tasks and do not let others intervene in your tasks.

Is a way of living that draws these boundaries a good way to live?

Alexander the Great learned of a chariot secured to a pillar by a former king and there was a local legend that who unraveled the knot would be the master of Asia. Many tried to untie it but they couldn't. Alexander saw the knot and immediately pulled his sword out and sliced it in half. He then declared that destiny is brought about by clearing away with one's own sword.

The bonds in our interpersonal relationships can be severed by a similar approach. The gordian knot is a good idea to remember when considering the separation of tasks.

Separation tasks is the gateway to interpersonal relationships, not the goal of them. Good interpersonal relationships require a good degree of distance. The distance must not be too great either. Be ready to lend a hand when needed but do not encroach on their territory.

We must also not seek reward or be tied to it in interpersonal relationships.

Someone deciding their own path might get lost at times and face the question of how one should live.

An adult choosing an unfree way of living will criticize a youth living freely as hedonistic: it is a life lie that the adult uses to justify their own unfree life. An adult who has chosen freedom themselves will instead cheer on the will to be free.

It may be that no person would actually want to be disliked. Even so, people will dislike you regardless of your efforts. The universal not wanting to be disliked was called inclination by Kant.

Following the desires and impulses is not freedom. Real freedom is to push up from those natural desires and impulses: we are beings capable of resisting inclination. We can climb uphill. The natural desire for recognition is an inclination that we can resist and push away. All problems are interpersonal relationship problems: we seek release from interpersonal relationships. It is impossible to live alone in the universe. The conclusion is that freedom is being disliked by other people. It is proof that you are exercising your freedom and in accordance with your own principles. It is distressful to be disliked. But conducting oneself in a way to not be disliked by anyone is unfree and impossible. The cost of freedom in interpersonal relationships is that one is disliked by other people.

To follow through in one's way of living, one must not fear being disliked and also pay the cost that one is never recognized. Do not be afraid of being disliked. This does not at all mean you should engage in wrongdoing. Simply separate tasks. A person who does not think well of you: it is not your task. Do not have a reward-oriented way of thinking. Move forward and do not fear the possibility of being disliked. Climb the slope that lies ahead rather than rolling down the hill according to the inclinations.

The courage to be happy also includes the courage to be disliked. With this courage, the interpersonal relationships change into things of lightness.

Many assume the cards are held by the other person. Trying to please others is like they have the cards. By grasping the separation of tasks, you notice that you hold all the cards.

If you change, only you change. Another person could change as a result, but it is not something you can intend to happen or predict. Another person changing is not your task or something that you can control.